he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
