I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
