maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
