Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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