Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
