I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
