OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
