my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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