I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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