cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Randomize
