no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
