She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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