What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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