school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
