His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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