im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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