Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
