i can't believe i had my finger in that
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
