I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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