just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
