My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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