I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
