I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
