How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
