I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
