His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it's great music for shaving your balls
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
