moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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