If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I am one with the molecules
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
