you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
