New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
