we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
