Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
