I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
