Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
