I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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