I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
