Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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