so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
