party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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