I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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