I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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