What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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