I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
