Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry Shepherd hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(214): View more from Texas

I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.

Fav 56 3967 2045
share tweet
(506): View more from New Brunswick

cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you

Fav 21 5631 1333
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.

Fav 17 987 2909
share tweet
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...

Fav 13 3238 2883
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.

Fav 1 2728 948
share tweet
(571): View more from Virginia

Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

Fav 12 3482 1792
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?

(505): View more from New Mexico

yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.

Fav 3 2206 935
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(828): View more from North Carolina

We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is

Fav 3 207 74
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(815): View more from Illinois

Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?

Fav 1 49 4
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT