He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
