i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
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