Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
