Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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