wat bout pragnant strippers??
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
