Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
